Grief; by definition is deep sadness caused especially by someone’s death, a cause of deep sadness, trouble or annoyance, a cause of such suffering, an unfortunate outcome; sorrow
Grief presents in more ways than you can probably imagine. For example, some of what follows here shows various components of what grief affects (observable manifestations of a subjectively experienced emotion) and effects (a particular feeling or mood created by something).
Trifecta; it’s not a horse race but it is your heart racing. The first day of an important loss, loss of a loved one is when you are the most vulnerable to heart attack. Some of the other potentials that exist are blood clots and strokes. This increase in vulnerability will subside over time but generally is the greatest for a full week following that loss.
Broken Heart; its real. It’s rare and it’s not usually fatal, though it feels like it will be. It’s actually called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Now the thing with the syndrome is that it can occur with loss as well as following great joy. Amazing reality is that the heart can’t distinguish between healthy stress or bad stress…. Stress is stress. Grief is grief. Grief is stressful, can’t get around it.
Your immune system takes a big hit along with your adrenal glands. You are susceptible to upset stomachs, heartburn, indigestion, lack of energy, flu like symptoms in general. Tired, lethargic, unable to focus because your head, your heart and your body are most assuredly not liking life right now. That grief is internal, external, environmental, spiritual … you will not escape it.
There’s a thing called complicated grief where the grief remains for a year or more rather than subsiding. It continues to affect day to day functions. This is probably more prevalent when a spouse of many years, or your child passes away. The remaining spouse has difficulty recalling simple facts or events because in all reality they’ve been lost in grief so while they may have been physically present, they were not emotionally, spiritually, mentally present.
Your fascia system. This is the memory bank of your body. This is where memories are stored. Its where pain and grief are stored, as though they may be put on hold until you have time to get around to resolve them. The problem with this is, it gets wound up, literally, to the point of causing you great physical pain and limitation. It asks repeatedly for you to let go, to try to assist you in healing, but when you choose to think you get to pick your time, you have to start realizing it really doesn’t work that way. In other words, the world really doesn’t revolve around you. Sucks huh?
When releasing adhesions, this is where many of these symptoms come into play; your joints are stiff, your muscles feel like they’ve all melded into one, you feel heavy, unable to move easily or painlessly…. your digestion backs up, bowels get stuck, can’t stand up straight without a lot of pain, can’t lie down without back pain etc.… it all just builds up trying to get you to deal, to release, to heal.
It’s time to face facts. It’s time to let love in, to experience the grief long enough to let it go because it only exists due to you thinking/believing you’ve lost that love instead of realizing that love is still strong and still with you.
Grief is what we feel when we place emphasis on the physical love of a being instead of remembering that love is emotional, spiritual, internal, environmental and literally, knows no limits. We experience grief only when that physical being is leaving us or finally does leave. This is when we must look within to realize our gain, our strength, our existence has been enhanced because of that being. That’s not something you can take away.
Often times I find when working with fascial release, people experience grief as pain, or they experience it as anxiety. They may cry, they may scream, they may try to suck it up and not let it out, as though expressing it is a weakness. Sometimes I have to work hard at provoking them into releasing the noises that so desperately need to be released so they can have that grief and once again, heal and feel the love they need.
Sometimes it’s really hard to be the one providing this outlet, as often times the energy that is released is so strong it permeates the souls of those who can hear those releases, who can feel those releases. It can be difficult to continue through a release where the person releasing is in so much angst you’re sure anyone else would stop. But that would only allow what is stuck to remain stuck, that wouldn’t assist that person in releasing and healing. Hard call sometimes.
But in the end, it’s the love that person feels once again when the pain is gone, the limits are gone, the grief is expressed and acknowledged, released and allowed to heal. It’s why I, can continue what I do.
Zachary M. Saber; Myofascial Release
Board Certified Grief and Depression Assistance 8/9/2016